Voluntary work

[Martin]

Children leaving home often coincides with other major changes in life. Retirement, or the prospect of it, redundancy, worries about elderly relatives, can all occur at the same time. This is an incredibly difficult time in your life to cope with. For some it suddenly gives time on their hands, but for others there is not enough time in the day when your energy levels seem to be falling. The prospect of more leisure time is pleasing, but do you really have enough interest to fill the week? With the children gone, I felt I had lost a sense of purpose and with work finishing, any prospect of a sense of achievement.

I was left with time on my hands and I saw an article in my local paper stating ‘time is the most valuable asset you have’. It was asking for people to spend perhaps as little as an hour a week with elderly people who have few, or no visitors. I responded and luckily for me I get on well with Harry, the pensioner I see. Now I also help to provide a taxi service for appointments and journeys to the day centre and other social occasions. My problem is that I could take on too much. I get a real sense of purpose from this voluntary work and have met a really great bunch of people. I can recommend getting involved with voluntary help. There are all different types – just talking to people, gardening, transport, etc. You can use skills you acquired from your employment. Look in your library, local paper and on the internet. My children and my wife are also pleased to see that I am so active and I feel better for it.
Martin

[Evelyn]

Hi There 

I have 3 sons, 2 who have flown the nest, one back in 1998 when he got married at the age of 27, the other well before that when he was only 16 in 1988. So only 1 son left at home now.

When my middle son left to move in with his girlfriend at a very young age of 16, he did this by not coming home every night, but always coming back home at weekends with his girfriend so that his other brothers would not claim his larger bedroom !!!
I had many a sleepless night waiting for him to come home 

Then a few years later my son relented over his room, and let his younger brother move in, which he did with enthusiasm, painting the room in camouflage colours.

I did not feel the loss as much with my middle son leaving home, as this was a gradual moving out from home, but when my eldest son left home to get married in 1998, I cried all night  my husband just could not understand how i felt.

Then in 2001 my married son and his wife had our 1st Grandchild, which helped to fill the Mothering instict in me.

But i still felt i needed something to fill my time, and after a long time thinking about it, i decided to start a business importing beads for jewellery making.
Through this i have met some very interesting people, and also found that a lot of my customers also started to make jewellery to fill in their time, when their children have flown the nest, or started school, so they had a lot more time on their hands.

I feel as though when some of my customers come round to see me, i am a bit like a counsellor service, as they unburden their troubles and enjoy chatting and choosing beads for their creative minds.

I have also been lucky enough to travel to China to meet my supplier, who very kindly took us round to see the sights, and also to Africa.

We all need something to keep our minds occupied, whether it is gardening, joining classes or some activity of some sort.

I also have an elderley Mother and a handicapped sister who i look after, shopping etc, so i like to keep busy, when i am busy i do not think about things which can be upsetting.

So as you can see my life is far from dull, I never get bored and never have enough hours in the day.

I have also made contact with some old school friends on Freinds reunited, reminiscing with them about our school days and our teenage years, borfriends etc. 

Have a good year, and be Happy from Evelyn.