My experience

I am a divorced and have one child, a son. My son just left to study in Europe for a year. This was a dream of his that we have been planning for a long time. As much as I wanted this for him, I have always known that I would miss him tremendously. When he returns he will be much more independent so this is really the end of a chapter in our lives. I considered him not only my little boy but truly one of my best friends.

He has been gone a week now and how am I coping? Well, it varies and my general reaction has surprised me. I miss him and am sad more than I expected. In fact, it feels more like a death than just a parting of ways. I am not sleeping as well and have the feeling like I am waiting for something. I will always value the time I had with my son and look back upon that time fondly. However, my ultimate goal for him has always been that he would grow up to be a happy, healthy adult that is self-sufficient and independent. So I am satisfied with the way our lives are headed, just sad to see our time together end. (Do you see my slightly disjointed ebb and flow of emotions? :-)

I have been trying to prepare myself for this for awhile because I knew it would not be easy. So how to cope?
- I decided that I should allow myself time to grieve. I do not want it to take over my life. I do think that acknowledging loss and allowing myself time to deal with it is part of my transition.
- Accept that I will always miss him. I'm sure that it will hit at different times like holidays or seeing a little boy who looks as he did.
- Share with friends and other family. I don't like to share the full depth of my emotion but it still helps to talk to others.
- Start on the many tasks I put off and cultivate interests and friendships that I did not have time for in the past.
- A new path for me was posting here and reading about other people's experience. This seems private and makes me feel less isolated.

Well enough for now. Best of luck to all of you.

Ljay