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Hi,

I am an empty nester and I have been through the pain and the lonliness.  It was really hard the first few years because my children lived so far away.  Now they all live very near me in Colorado.  This is great except for one thing - they all seem to take turns moving in and out of my home.  With the bad economic times, they have each needed our help at different times.  We help which ever one needs us because we love them so!  However, it is really hard on my husband when they move in and out.  All are responsible adults with college educations but they have all lost jobs at different times and stay with us until they got back on their feet.  All but one has their own family so the house can get loud and crowded!  I was wondering if anyone else is going through the "revolving door" syndrome (if you will).  How have you handled it?

Hi Ljay
Your posting is very wise and helpful to read. I have just taken my son to university and I am glad that he has gone, and can't wait to see how he gets on.
I am a single parent, and so it is hard to let him go, as we have been so close over the years. I am proud that he is so confident as he goes off to his new room and meets new people, but it leaves me with a heavy heart.
I am trying to think of the things i can do around the house to please myself, and enjoy the space that I own. I could also plan some brilliant visits and holidays I can go on over the next few years.
Maybe I'll write a book, set up a rock band, or resign from work!
Hope you and your son are both doing really well!
SC xxx

Hi,
I'm 26 years old and still living with my parents.  My brother is 34 and he too, still lives at home.  Neither of us have ever lived elsewhere.  We both work full-time and pay board and pull our weight around the home. We have always had a very close knit family and whilst I always thought this was lovely (and of course part of me still feels like this), and I know I am really very priveleged to have this kind of relationship with my family, I am starting to feel almost, well, resentful of it.  I look forward to starting a life of my own, in my own place etc. but really feel quite immobilised by the guilt of "leaving" my mother.  I know this isn't healthy, and I know if my mother knew I felt this way she would be mortified, but I know she will really struggle with this.  We have talked about it, and I know she knows the time will come one day, but even booking a 1 month holiday in September abroad has been enough to send her into depression. My parents have always had control over things -i.e where we were, what time we'd be home etc. Always - even now that we are much older, but I wonder - I know there are others out there that have gone though this and gotten through, and I just wanted some advice on how I can support my mother through this and overcome my guilt? Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks!
Carly.

We have been contacted by a father, who is in need of support and advice to help him cope with the prospect of both his children leaving home.  His daughter, her fiance and new baby, left home last autumn and are thinking of moving farther away.  His son is in his senior year.  The father and his wife plan to move home themselves and his son does not want to go with them. 
 
His wife has been their stepmother for many years and loves them dearly, but does not want children of her own, although he would quite like another child.  He is not yet 40.  She is looking forward to a quiet life.  As he says, "I did not expect this to all happen so soon.  I am just so depressed and cry all the time.  Raising my kids was my life.  Now I don't know what I am going to do."
 
If you think you can help this father cope with his situation, please click on "Members/Join", so that you can communicate directly, or, if you prefer, add your comments to the Message Board.